i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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