He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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