Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
