I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
