My hand turned me down
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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