The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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