I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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