Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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