I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
