There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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