you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
