I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
