she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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