I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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