fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
