I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
