I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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