so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
