You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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