where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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