My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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