I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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