I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
try to milk me bitch
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