Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Enjoy the penises
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
