So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I am available for nakedness
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
