She is in my trunk
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
