no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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