so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize