zippers are such a cool invention
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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