i think my tv is drunk
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
