# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
