i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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