you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
