Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
