How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
we're chasing vodka with high fives
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
