Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
