Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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