): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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