i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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