so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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