Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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