that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
