It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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