Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
