Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
