she woke up with a sticky ear
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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