I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
