I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize