Pappa wants mamma naked
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
