haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize