I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
