Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
