it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
