how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
