So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
