she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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