how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
