This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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