tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
