but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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