Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
